Navigating Life
Hey my friends! Hope all is well and life is good!!
I am sure no one is counting but this will be my third post over the last 7 days! WOW!!! Who is this guy? This guy is feeling the best he has felt this year and last. Can’t explain that, did not expect to still be here and certainly did not expect to feel this well. I am very grateful. Hoping to shift gears in several areas of my life and start focusing on others again. Working on what that will look like and promise to keep you posted.
A quick reminder. December 3rd, same place as last year, Southlakes Park, Denton TX. We are running the, Live a Legacy, Santa 5k. I am really excited about this run. Past Todd would hav never wanted to do anything like this with any focus on myself. Being diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor has changed my mind and focus in many ways. This year is not just about me. Cancer is one of those realities that stinks. Most of you reading this have had family or friends battle some type of cancer. Many of you, have battled cancer. I am hoping my journey can help others see, think about the reality of cancer and find some little or big ways we can each support and love those who are navigating cancer. It is not just hard on the person but also very challenging on the family and friends of that person. Cancer stinks, would be the nicest way to comment on it!!!
Ok,,,,, let’s shift gears to the reality of life for each of us in many ways. Not simply cancer.
There have been some personal discoveries in this journey that have encouraged me in many ways. More in the last several months. I have started to look through much of my journey and day to day life, by reading old journals. Not bragging in any way, “I have been encouraged.” Not all of my personal journey has been wonderful. Many mistakes and disappointment. But it has been very encouraging to read through the last 10 years of my thoughts and experiences.
I found some journaling that was done in January of 2017. I believe looking back at honest journaling can help you and I understand our journey in this life. Here are a couple of things I had written about that are very encouraging for me as I navigate this terminal brain tumor.
“Grief is not about forgetting, its about remembering with gratitude.”
Grief is a very real part of our lives as we navigate the ups and downs of our journey. So many people try to avoid grief in many ways. The grief you and I experience in “this life” is part of “this life.” Many believe if they avoid or never think about grief they are somehow protecting themselves from pain and discomfort. Good luck with that!! It doesn’t work.
Grief is very challenging. No one would ask for more “grief” but the longer we live, we will experience it in different ways.
Another entry from 1/17/2017. “Death makes life possible.” For many this would sound crazy and wrong. I get it, but here is my thinking. Only through a healthy relationship with the reality of death will we come into a right relationship with our fear of loss. You and I will experience the reality of death in many ways. There are healthy ways to navigate that and unhealthy ways. I am not a fan of loss. It happens and we can resist, ignore, not deal with, or we can step into our grief and begin to understand that part of this life.
Maybe a clearer way for my post would have been, “understanding that some day I will die, can help me live a better life today!” I have worked with people in ministry and counseling who are dealing with the loss of a loved one or they are dealing with health issues. Those experiences have caused them to question life, God and why their life even matters. I get it, I understand! I would say to anyone, “I understand, but don’t stay there too long.”
I know I have shared this before. I grew up in a home that was full of grief. I had no idea what that was or what it was about. It was very much a part of my mother, sister and my life. I can say for me it was unhealthy and impacted my life in many ways. In college I began to see and understand grief and how my father’s death at my early age and many other situations as a child caused so much grief. I can’t speak for my mom or sister, but I have been working on “Grief” for all of my life.
In my early 20’s I started working on grief for myself over the next 15 years before I started leading groups and working with individuals who were navigating the grief journey. For years, I have been very comfortable sitting with people helping them navigating their grief journey.
Here is the crazy part of this journey for me. I have believed the way my life started, the grief work I had personally done, my continued training and education had prepared me to continue to journey with people in their grief journey. Now it has shifted back to me in a very personal way. I am learning how to walk through the grief process with a terminal cancer diagnosis. There have been times, days that I think. “What is going on?” “How could this happen to me?” It reminds me, nobody chooses cancer and the journey of dealing with it. But what I know today is, “I did not choose this and don’t want it.” And “how am I going to continue to move forward?”
I am feeling better!!!! I love that and want to use my time to again walk with people who are experiencing grief. I once again understand a different and even more personal journey with grief. In some ways, ways I did not choose, I am well equipped to walk with people, not to fix anything but help them navigate their grief journey!
What about you? Grief is not just the death of someone. Grief is the loss of, money, health, a marriage, careers, dreams that you had, that have never come true and many more experiences in this life. Remember, “we are born with no choice and we die with very little or no choice.” Navigating grief well, can help you enjoy life day to day. It can help you enjoy being a part of this amazing life!
Remember and never forget…….. “You are Loved and of Great Value.”