The Loving Father, Part 2

I want to share one more idea connected to the loving father. First some quick info. Did five hours of testing yesterday that honestly was a little discouraging but doing much better today. Once my neurosurgeon gets the results we will meet and determine how aggressive we will be with the brain surgery. I am trying to get a few extra posts out and get established before the surgery takes place. Planning on doing my first podcast this weekend, very excited to get that started. So part 2 of the loving Father.

In the mid 90’s I was a youth minister at Quail Springs Church in OKC. Natalie and I attended a youth ministry conference in Colorado Springs. The first night we were there Dr Larry Crabb spoke. I really connected with his talk and that night as I was discussing with Nat, she said, “you should go talk to him.” He was speaking the next morning but I told her, “I don’t do that.” I was not a guy that was going to go try and speak to a communicator that I did not know. That next morning after listening to him I thought, I have to talk to him.

I waited around in the back of the room after his talk, feeling like a weenie for wanting to talk to this guy but felt like I really had to. Mike Myers a good man,(he died in April 2020) youth pastor and one in charge of the conference was with Dr Crabb and as everyone left I walked up and Mike introduced me to Dr Crabb. We had a brief conversation and I felt like Larry saw into my soul very quickly. I am a huge fan of Larry Crabb, I spent a week with him in CO. several years later to learn more about me and how to be a spiritual director for individuals. Dr Crabb has been one of my spiritual heroes and impacted my life in some profound ways. Larry ask, “do you like to read?” I told him I really enjoyed reading. He said “I want you to read two books, The Curates Awakening, by George MacDonald and The Return of the Prodigal Son, by Henri J. M. Nouwen.” I got home and read both books.

The Return of the Prodigal Son, by Nouwen has been one of the most important books I have ever read. I have read it multiple time. Rembrandt painted several spiritual paintings. The Return of the Prodigal Son was one of his most popular spiritual paintings. I currently have two copies. One in my home office that is always in my view when sitting at my desk and for the last 15 plus years I have had a copy in my counseling office that I can see whenever I am doing counseling work with my clients.

The Return of the Prodigal is a parable Jesus shared, that is found in Luke 15. Luke 15 tells three stories, stories about a lost sheep, a lost coin and a lost son. All stories, parables, are very valuable but the lost son has always resonated with me in many different ways. When I read Nouwen’s book I began to realize the story is really not as much about the son or sons but is ultimatly about the loving Father. I also began to realize I am all three characters in the story, but my greatest desire over the years has been to be the loving father. Let me explain.

Growing up the focus of the story that I had been taught was about the prodigal son. The son who left his father and went off and “squandered his wealth in wild living.” I had heard this text used often to focus on not being like this son who went off and wasted his money and life chasing women and partying. There is some wisdom in this but I think Nouwen helped me understand, the boys actual sin was not as big of a deal as his mindset, attitude. The son had a good father who provided for him, wanted good things for him and a father who was very gracious. One area that is easy to miss is that during this time period the youngest son would never ask for his inheritance, that was completely unacceptable and might have literally gotten him stoned. But this father is different. He doesn’t get upset, he graciously tells his son, you are free to go and if you are going I will go ahead and bless you with money, your inheritance.

The younger son wanted to go do his life his way. He believed he was better off on his own and didn't really need his father. I have struggled with that sin most of my life. Wild living and chasing women has not been my sin. I partied some in high school and college. I honestly was fascinated with women and in some weird ways scared to death of them which helped me stay out of some unhealthy girl relationships. The particular sins are not the problem. The problem sin that I relate to is that I believe I can manage my life better on my own. I don’t need a father, mother, God or anyone else, my best option is to do whatever I need to do to take care of myself. What I know today is, that has never worked very well for me. I need others, I need a loving Father and doing life alone is not healthy or good. One of the biggest challenges with this brain tumor is the hard reality that I am going to need others. At some point I am going to need others to get through some basic day to day things. I hate that, but will continue to work on actually being needy some times and allowing others to help. I am responsible for my life and actions but desperately need God and others to be a part of my life. God does not want to control me, He wants to bless me, to guide me, to empower me to go be a better man, to go be the man I was created to be wether sick, healthy, rich or poor. I am loved by the Father.

I have also been the elder brother. He does not get as much focus which is a little tragic. This older brother really models what I have seen the average christian model today. He believed he was doing “everything, he was suppose to do” and because of that God kind of owed him something. He was earning his place with the Father and he deserved everything and more that the Father had or hadn’t given him. For years I was working hard to earn the Fathers love and blessing. As a pastor, husband, father whatever it was I was working hard and God was kind of fortunate to have me on His team. I have seen in myself and many of the people I have worked with in ministry that we believe we earn God’s favor, we get to heaven and relationship with Him based on what we are doing and that grace is a secondary, back up option. Today what I believe is “everything is grace!!!” I will have a story about that soon. I relate the the elder brother.

This story is really about the loving Father. He is the third player in this story and the most important. He does several things that we can easily miss today. The audience that Jesus was speaking too would not have missed these things. He gives his youngest son his inheritance and lets him go. It is a valuable example of God’s love, that ultimately say’s, you are loved, you have value and I want to be a part of your life, but it’s your choice. A big idea with love at it’s purest is you and I always have the freedom to choose. I don’t believe God is ever trying to force us to do anything, He wants us to choose. What I have discovered over the years is that my bad choices and I have made many, are not held against me by God. His grace wants me to learn from those poor choices, don’t let them define me but learn and grow.

One of the other areas that this story model God’s heart is the Father running to his son. There is a great moment in the story that I believe is one of my favorite ideas from scripture. Vs 17, says about the son, “when he came to his senses” he takes responsibility for his choices and heads home. The Father is waiting and looking for his son, hoping he will come home. This father see’s his son and literally takes off running to meet him. Again, culturally the father at this point in history is never going to take off running to meet his son who has left home and been living in sin. Patriarchal fathers during this time period would never do something like that. But this father is different. He just wants his son home, he wants to be in relationship with his son. There are many things that happen but one other big idea is the son is immediately restored to his proper place. Nouwen walks through this in such a beautiful way. The son is given new clothes, a ring, all the things that restore him to his original place with the father.

This story is really helping you and I see the reality of the love and grace of a loving God and Father. What I have slowly begun to understand over the years is I am all three characters in the story. Both boys believe they can ultimately manage and navigate their own lives with out the father. They believe they deserve stuff, blessing based on who they are and what they do. The truth is I deserve nothing. If God were keeping a ledger of my good and bad choices the bad would ultimately win. I don’t believe for a second that God is keeping score. He wants me to know his love, live in His grace and go be a loving father to my family, my friends and the men and women I work with every day.

I keep Rembrandt’s picture in a visible spot for a very specific reason. It reminds me I am all three characters in the story but I am choosing each day to be more like the loving Father. That man can make a difference in his world each day, that man can be an extension of God’s love and grace that others need to experience. So, a lot of words to simple remind you that you are loved by the God of creation not because of anything you do or don’t do. You are loved because you are His child. Receive that love and let it transform who you are, receive that love so you can give it to someone today who needs to experience the Father’s love.

Peace,