“TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND DO NOT LEAN ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING.” Proverbs 3:5

Good Morning!!! Hope your week is going well! Wanted to share a quick update and thought.

I have been up since 4am this morning and not feeling very well today. Three weeks of radiation and chemotherapy is starting to rob me of some energy. I am halfway through and they have said from day 1, it gets worse as you go through the process. I will make it, but it is frustrating to feel, tired, weak and out of it! I have still been walking quite a bit and doing some light exercise most days. So in theory, I am totally kicking the cancer and cancer treatments BUTT!!! At least that is how I see it. :)

Here is a thought I have been on this morning. The core of the idea comes from the Proverbs text. Maybe there are actually some things in this life I simply will never completly understand and that’s okay. I feel some tension with this and also find great comfort in the idea.

I have always been pretty comfortable with the idea that there are things in this life I don’t fully understand. Years and years ago I started reading some different authors who talked about the “dark night of the soul.” For some reason this idea made a lot of sense to me and helped me continue to work out some struggles in my life. I have never believed that this life would be free of some very real challenges, struggles and pain.

In my mind there has been some very unhealthy “faith’ based ideas that if you are truly following God, your life will be completely void of challenges, pain or any kind of suffering. Let me suggest, based on my understanding of scripture, that is not true. Men and women of faith still have struggles, pain and this life is not about everything being “fair.”

So,,,,,, today I feel rotten and don’t like that I have a terminal brain tumor. I can and will be honest about that. Today I am also reminded God loves me. There are some things in this life I simply don’t completely understand. It’s okay. It is actually in these challenging moments and times in our lives that we can trust in the Lord. When I am struggling, I find some comfort in this reality.

I want to encourage and acknowledge, that many of you have some very real challenges and struggles. Can I remind you that in the middle of that, I believe there is a God who loves you and is with you. Maybe for some of us, it is in our struggles that we experience the reality of God’s love.

Need to stop, brain is not working very well this morning. Have a beautiful day! You are loved and of great value!!!

Peace,