“WE NEVER KNOW”
Happy Day! Hope you are enjoying your day!
Maybe on November 11th, we are beginning to experience actual winter weather! I am ready and honestly enjoy some different weather. Walked 3.5 miles this morning and got rained on the last quarter of a mile. Can honestly say “I enjoyed it.” LIFE IS GOOD!!!
Let me mention a special event that is happening December the 3rd in Denton TX. We are having the second 5k, run, jog or walk. You can go to this location and get the details and registration for the event https://runsignup.com/Race/Events/TX/Denton/LiveaLegacySanta5K The run is benefitting someone else battling brain cancer who will start their treatment soon. JOIN US!!!
Obviously if you have been reading my blog you know how much I have battled with cancer and how it has impacted my life. So grateful to be alive, feeling so much better and acknowledge there is much about cancer I don’t understand.
I would honestly like to start writing about other topics and am still stuck on the cancer journey. I continue to learn somethings along the way. I learn about areas that have impacted my life knowing it may be very different for others.
Being around on my 59th birthday caused me to reflect on several things. One area was 3 men who have walked with me in very personal and special ways.
Tom has been a good friend for several years. That went to a new level during this cancer journey. After my surgery in March of 2021, Tom started showing up at my house once a week. We usually sat in our front room. It was early, so we would drink coffee. Who knows what I would talk about or even if I would talk for the first several months. He kept showing up and sitting with me.
I remember Tom saying at some point in the journey something that was such a huge comment. This was something that would be a great model to others. He said, “Todd I have never been through anything like this. Parts I don’t understand. But I can listen and support you as you walk this out”! Wow! He mentioned that several times.
Tom acknowledged he couldn’t fix this but he wanted me to know, my life mattered, he cared about my journey, loved me and continued to show up week after week. He and I still try each week to get together for a hour visit. For months now I go to his place since he has a job and is working. The time with him has been the most consistent, and I can’t begin to explain how much that has mattered to me.
My second guy that has mattered is Eric. My journey with Eric has been very fascinating. There is far too much to write about for this story.
When we moved to Argyle in 200, Eric and his family lived at the end of our street. Natalie and I got to know his wife many years before I got to know him. They moved to another area of Argyle but in many ways I stayed connected with him. Our friendship over the years has never been a bunch of social events. More very special life events, and each of those I got to learn a little more about him and his life.
Kind of crazy, but we left Argyle about 7 years ago, and I lost some contact with him. About 4 years ago I ran into him and his wife in our area and found out they now lived about a mile and a half from us. I also found out his wife had terrible cancer and was at the end of her journey. It was hard for me to believe! She was a very special, wife, mom and a great person.
She died a short time after we had reconnected and Eric asked me to officiate her funeral. Such a blessing for me to get to do that, spend time with his boys and Eric. After that funeral, I started going down to his house and sat on their back porch, looking at the lake, drinking coffee, and listening to Eric process the grief journey. I couldn’t fix that, but I could listen. He seemed to making some healthy progress as he walked through that and things changed.
I was then the guy trying to figure out how to move forward with a diagnosis of a terminal brain tumor. Our conversation changed and he was the one now listening more. That conversation mattered because Eric had navigated that experience from the other side. We had some beautiful and special conversations about the journey I was now on.
Fast forward and after a major surgery and 12 months of chemotherapy he offered something very special. Natalie and I got to go to a beautiful island in June where he has some property. We spent 2 weeks at a place we would have never been able to afford. It was beautiful and the time Natalie and I had was incredibly special. I would say it was one of the greatest trips she and I have taken in almost 35 years of marriage.
Eric was not done. He invited me out to see him while he was in Canada. I had never been to Canada and this trip ended up being with my son Mason. We spent 3 full days at Eric’s place with Eric. We had a blast. He took us around the the huge lake, Mason and I fished, Eric and Mason went out one day to fish while I took my nap. It was another very special trip that could have never happened without Eric.
He and I still talk on the phone some, even though he is living in another state. My relationship with Eric has been a little unique, very special, and I love the guy.
My third guy is Bill. Bill and I met at a youth camp in the 90’s. We have known each other for 25+ years. The first time he and I met we began a very special friendship. He left Texas a short time after we met and we have always been connected.
I love Portland and not only because Bill lives in that area. That area is beautiful and some of the best places to enjoy the great outdoors. Because he lives in that area everyone in my family have been there to see him and his wife. Natalie has spent time with them and on individual trips each one of my children have stayed at their house on special trips with their dad.
When I was diagnosed with this cancer, Bill and I started meeting on Zoom every week. He and I always had and have a little different conversation. After my major surgery, we didn’t talk for almost 2 months simply because I was a veg for a while. The first call back I could tell something was not right with Bill. After being on the phone for some conversation about how I was doing Bill said he needed to tell me something. What he told me was hard to hear!
Bill explained he had found out he had lung cancer that was terminal. I could not believe what I was hearing. I don’t like that part of the story, wish there was something I could do about it, but I know I can't.
He and I have continued to talk for an hour every week. That has been some of the most valuable conversation I have had in this cancer journey. Our cancer is different, both are terminal, both are hard to understand and can be very challenging. Together he and I have tried to figure out how to handle times our cancer kicks our butts and we feel awful and ultimately how do we live well so we can die well.
Bill and I have lived across the country most of the time we have know each other. Over then years we have always talked about things that matter. How do we live well, how do we do well in our marriages and parenting. We have always discussed books we were reading and our personal journey with God. In many ways, it is like we were walking with each other to prepare ourselves for this part of our lives.
Bill has been a very special friend. I would have told you I respected and loved him, but navigating terminal cancer with this guy has taken all of the to a new level.
I have had and still have so many others that have been an incredible blessing in my life. These three have been unique. I thank God for Tom, Eric and Bill every day.
What about you? Who are some friendships that if you really spent some time thinking about your life is a little different because of them. It matters! Some of you may say, “I don’t have friendships like those!” Don’t ever go ve up on that. Figure out your part in being that “friend” and then trust the process.
Friendships matters as you and I navigate the journey we are on.
Maybe some of this life starts with a unique relationship! The relationship that helps us navigate and enjoy this life. The one that reminds you and I.
We are each “Loved and of Great Value.”