A Father’s Day Tribute to The Man of My Dreams
“The Lord bless you and keep you
Make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you
The Lord turn His face toward you
And give you peace- Amen
May His favor be upon you
And a thousand generations
And your family and your children
And their children, and their children”
How great is the love the Father has lavished upon on us.. that we are called children of God, and that is what we are! Oh how the man of my dreams embodied this truth throughout our marriage, and especially when he became a father! As I’ve read through Todd’s journal entries he made on or around Father’s Day, it is such a blessing to see the way he cried out to our Abba Father to be his father. Fathered by the best Father of all! One entry in June of 2016 said, “Today father, help me to love you and receive your love. You are a perfect father, and I thank you for that. I love you!” That theme over Todd’s life grew profoundly as he sought to be fathered by our Heavenly Father.
Todd loved our children with every fiber of his being. He was so intentional about loving them with grace and compassion, while also intentionally modeling how to engage in close relationships with others. He treasured each small moment he had to love our children well! He wrote an entry in January of 1998… “Mason took my hand and held it all the way home. It was wonderful! I know my days are numbered that my children will hold my hand and walk with me. My hope is that would never end. I hope I will always reach for the hand of God as He leads me.” What a holy moment is was to see Mason hold Todd’s hand in those final days when Todd was determined he would continue to get out of bed and walk to the restroom, despite the fact he had suffered multiple mini-strokes and was unable to be mobile! All through the night, Mason and Michael held Todd up to help him get to the restroom. Michael, Mason, and Madi all held Todd’s hand throughout his cancer journey and in his final breath as we prayed “Lord Jesus come!”
Tearfully, I released the man of my dreams with this…
”You have begun a legacy in our family as you modeled in an overtly tangible way what it looks like to be the hands and feet of Jesus. I distinctly remember in our early 30s, the Lord wrote this verse on your heart-
”See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.“
1 John 3:1
From that moment, you went deeper and deeper in your quest to have an intimate relationship with our Heavenly Father. You started every single day with learning more about who he really is. The search for an earthly father, to fill your void of losing your dad at such an early age, ended as you truly experienced the love, mercy, compassion, and discipleship through the best ‘Daddy’ of all!
Daily- you journaled, prayed, and talked to the Lord as your life demonstrated you finally found what you were looking for…
You fought this horrible disease right to the end of your race. Your fight was enveloped in this cloud of truth- “We are created to love others well, and we can only do this when we first love ourselves.” You spent each day discipling our children, family, friends, neighbors, and even complete strangers through your message shown through your words and actions-
“You are loved and of great value.”
With every breath, every moment, of every day, I know we will meet again. Until then, I will hold you close in my heart, my memories, and my actions as our beautiful children and I continue the legacy we began together♥️”
Today, I am grateful for the man of my dreams and the 69 voice memos he recorded on his walks throughout his cancer journey. I leave you with a message from him to help us all remember, “You are loved and of great value.”
May His favor be upon you and a thousand generations And your family and your childrenAnd their children, and their children!