Grateful To Be Here
Happy Wednesday! Hope your week is going well. We, here in TX. have finally had a few days that reminded me of winter but that is going away tomorrow. Thursday and Friday we are having mid 80’s. Welcome to springtime!!!!
The picture I included in this post is from my first surgery a year ago in December. That surgery was more my Dr checking out my brain tumor and getting some samples from that tumor. The first surgery was the beginning of months of bad news about this tumor.
My surgeon Dr was wonderful. One of my favorite Dr’s I have ever had. She was very kind and very honest. That is a great combination when you are dealing with challenging, life altering situations. Before that surgery she felt like this tumor was at a stage 1 or 2. After the first surgery she said the tumor is at a stage 3 or 4. Her information was basically, we can let it the tumor run it’s course or have a surgery and remove as much as possible. At that point my decision was, let it run it’s course. The surgery had several and possible brain damages that at that time I did not think were worth it. So we started with 30 rounds of radiation and chemotherapy. That process was not that bad.
That process did not keep me from working out, living my life and continuing to process that the clock was ticking for my time on this earth. I was trying to live well, process the dying process with Natalie and my kids and get prepared for the end. At the end of that two rounds of cancer treatment, two of my Dr’s began to encourage the major surgery on my brain. After a honest and valuable conversation with my surgeon I decided to have the major surgery. She explained all the risks, Natalie and I accepted that, and I had the surgery.
Fast forward to almost 9 months later and I am very grateful I chose the surgery. The process was long and unpleasant at times. The first three months I really thought often, “let’s get this over with and let me go ahead and die.” From month 4 until today many things began to change. Change in a good way.
Whatever was taken out of my brain has changed many things about the way my brain works. But honestly my Dr’s have been surprised at how well my brain has done following the surgery. They told me it would take 2-3 months for my brain to reset. They were spot on with that. But many of the concerns they had, I have never had to deal with. I am so grateful for that.
I am 7 months into chemotherapy, I honestly hate that. Each month the chemo makes me fell a little worse and much weaker. In the long run I can deal with that. I only have 5 more months to go. Yippee!!!!
This is a long story to tell you my one big struggle. Every other month we do a major check in and MRI my brain. That big day is tomorrow. I try to keep my brain and thoughts positive, but that is a struggle. Tomorrow is the big day. We will find out how my brain is doing. My thoughts are always conflicted, and the best news I want is that the brain tumor is still neutral, no growth and I keep moving forward with the plan we have.
I am grateful for my life. Every life begins and ends. I am not ready for mine to be over, but I am so grateful for my life. Tomorrow I am hoping and praying for good news. I will keep you posted.
Enjoy today! Love yourself and the people in your life.
Peace,