“Here in the Presence”

Good Morning and Happy Saturday! I got home last night after spending a few days with Mason, Cecily and Amelia in Atlanta. What a joy to get to hang out with my granddaughter and celebrate her 1st birthday! It is good to be home, see Natalie and Gracie. Grateful also to be up this morning and thinking about a few things to share. Feeling pretty well, my head started hurting some again which is a bummer, but we will see how that goes. I start radiation and chemotherapy Monday so I am really hoping that goes well and does not create too many negative side-affects.

So here at home I have a process I do every morning. This is not new, but since I got diagnosed with my brain tumor and the seizures have kept me from working like I always have, I definitely have a little more time in the mornings. Most mornings, I start the day in my office listening to music by Elevation Worship. It’s interesting because it seems like the music is pretty much the same each day. I enjoy it, but some days for whatever reason, a song will literally hit me between the eyes in a good way. That happened this morning.

This morning for some reason “Here in the Presence” went all over me and simply undid me. I am a huge fan of Elevation Worship and have listened to them for years. This song plays every morning that I listen, but again today for some reason it just undid me. I usually take this as something God is really wanting me to hear and begin to really accept and understand.

I won’t write out all the song, but I do want to share a few verses. I also want to encourage you to go listen to this song. It is beautiful and true. Here is how it starts.

“Here I lay my burdens down

Lose my worries in Your love

Casting every care on You

I have carried them enough

We’re not alone

Here within His love

Emmanuel

He is still with us”

This song started and before I knew it I was in tears. I do not mean tears in a bad way! To be very honest, tears have been a part of my life as long as I can remember. It is very rare that I sit and sob. But it is almost daily that I experience some level of tears. I sit with people in counseling and it’s not uncommon that I will have tears running down my face as I listen to peoples’ pain and heartache.

This song today reminded me of two things that have been so present in my life lately. One is, being diagnosed with a brain tumor and told that my days are limited, that this life will be over in the near future. This truth is not unique to someone with a brain tumor, it’s true for everyone of us, but for most of us we simply don’t think about this truth and reality. I promise for me this has not been a horrible thing. I don’t necessarily like it, but it reminds me that I have today and today matters. It reminds me of all the ways I am blessed and how grateful I am for my incredible life. I am reminded of my blessing’s like an amazing wife who loves me, of three children who have been simply amazing, my daughter in laws that I love and soon to be son-in-law that I love and who loves my daughter well. If my life ended today, it would be okay because my life has been such a blessing and gift from God.

The other thing that went all over me this morning was my time with my granddaughter Amelia. She is such a beautiful gift from God and her mom and dad are amazing parents. They love her so well and are so engaged in her life. She played with me or let me play with her. She let me hold her and love on her. But there were a few times when for what ever reason she wanted her daddy. She would crawl into his lap, lean into him and hold onto his shirt. You could tell she felt safe, loved and cared for by her daddy. It was such a beautiful visual of this song as I listened to it today.

There are days I struggle, days over my life I have always struggled. Over the years God, just like Mason for his daughter Amelia, has been present for me. He allows me to hold on, with tears, fear or laughter and joy and He loves me and reminds me that in this life all will be okay.

Here is a line in the song that I believe to be true and today I take great comfort in.

“Tired of running, running

Be still and know that He’s in control

Here in the presence of the Lord”

It is rare today that I run from the challenges of this life. I use to run hard and was often so weary. Today and this morning I rested in the presence of a loving God. This life is hard and at times very challenging. This is true for so many of you. My work as a pastor and therapist has been about being present with people who are genuinely struggling and hurting. I have been so grateful to be allowed to do that with people. It only works when I first, in my own life am able to sit in the loving presence of God.

This morning I shed tears of joy and found great comfort that there is a God who loves me and cares for me. He loves and cares for you as well. Listen to the song today and maybe it will be an opportunity for you to practice laying a burden down, letting go of something that you need to give to God and simply rest in His presence.

Have a beautiful day!

Peace,