“I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN”

Happy Weekend! Hope you had a wonderful week and big plans for the weekend. This week has been very encouraging. My last major surgery was March 31st. April was a month that I felt lost and struggled figuring out what was actually going on most days. Each day this week, life has gotten much better and I have been very encouraged.

My brain in some ways seems to be working well and in other ways not working accurately at all. I have wondered most of my adult life if my brain worked correctly, but I never thought it was this far off. Part of this process causes me to continue to ask myself several questions. A big question is “What Really Matters?” In my mind as a, pastor or counselor I have always valued peoples’ process to figure some things that really matter to themselves.

In my own life, some things that truly mattered seemed to be shrinking. In some ways it boiled down to, love God, love yourself and love others. In my own life, I slowly began to realize working on myself took all to the energy I had to keep myself healthy. Not saying I have ever been perfect at that but I have grown in that area. Then I got a brain tumor.

Almost 2 years ago I was diagnosed with a kidney cancer tumor. It was early, and I was honestly not that worried about it. We cut out the tumor, I felt like I was good to go and ready to keep living my life. 10 months later I started having seizures that initially I would have never expected a brain tumor. By November, my initial cancer Dr. figures it out, sends me to a different Dr. and my life has changed dramatically.

I realize today my brain is not working at its best. I hope this makes sense and might be helpful for someone. I am still trying to figure a few things out. I thought I was spiritually and personally good to go before this major surgery. I honestly believe that is true but, my head at times seems “off” and things that mattered are gone at times.

This week I have started to slowly get back to what really matters for me. It has been a different process for me. It has been very frustrating, but I have been very encouraged.

I have said this at different times. All I truly have is today!!! And today I have a choice. I want to choose life today. Love my wife well, my children, family and friends. If I have months or years left, I want my life to matter and use it for a few good things in my life.

Okay, I am going to stop. The support for my family and I have been amazing. I can’t say “Thank You” enough!!!!!!

Remember you are each “LOVED and of GREAT VALUE.”!!!!!!!!!

Peace,