Mindfulness 101

So… this morning I spent a little time in Oregon. I had to do that from my house because we had to go to UT Southwestern for some pre-surgery testing. I was struggling a little with the day that was starting so I paused and went to Oregon for a little while and did a reset. It helped quite a bit. Let me explain!

One of the things my counseling work has taught me is that depression typically, not always, is rooted in thinking patterns that are rooted in the past- past hurt, shame, pain and disappointment. Anxiety is typically, not alway, but most of the time is thought that is focused on the future and the concerns, uncertainty about the future. I got up thinking about the testing that was going to happen and all the unknowns around my brain tumor. Can I still be a therapists? How much is all of this going to cost? What will my physical and mental ability be moving forward, etc? So as this is starting to gain some energy, I took a deep breath and went to Oregon.

Mindfulness is a valuable practice that involves many different processes. One way to practice mindfulness is to take a deep breath, mentally go to your ultimate place of relaxation, peacefulness, and breathe. I teach people this strategy all the time and have been using it for years. Here’s the main idea. If I ask you, “Where do you feel the most relaxed and at peace?” What comes to mind. For many it is somewhere outside, not always but it is very common. Once you identify that place in your mind, tell me in great detail. What do you see, feel, hear, and smell? As you identify the place and those memories in your mind, close your eyes and take 4-6 deep breaths. It is one of the most simple and helpful practices to calm yourself, slow down your heart rate, and pull you back into the present. There is study after study of scientific evidence to prove this.

For me this practice has been so helpful when I need to calm myself down, refocus, and get back into the moment. In May of 2009, Michael and I went to Portland to celebrate his graduation and hang out with one of my best friends, Bill Hunt. Bill took us on a hike that was amazing. Oregon is one of my favorite places in the world for many reasons. For one, the area is beautiful. 5 miles into our hike, we hit a waterfall that had a passage trail that went under the waterfall and continued up the mountain. It is one of the most amazing places I have ever been, and one of the most peaceful places I have ever been. When I am feeling anxious, angry or overwhelmed I mentally go there. I feel the damp air from the waterfall. I smell the moss, trees, dirt and wilderness. I hear the waterfall, feel the sunshine and dampness. This memory immediately starts to calm me down. I take several deep breaths and begin to refocus and step back in the present moment. Mason and I went to this same place in Aug of 2011. He and I were by ourselves, and I wanted him to see the waterfall. We did not have much time, got to the waterfall, hung out for a little while and then literally jogged the entire 5 miles back down to the car. He and I running that trail together is also one of my greatest memories that adds another joy and peace to that location.

So what about you? When you tap into your memory what is the most peaceful calming place that come to mind? When you go there and focus on that, what do you see, smell, feel, and hear? Go there and take 4-6 deep breaths. The first time you do this it may not have a big impact. I promise if you will begin to practice this mindfulness exercise consistently you will find it very comforting.

We are back to that idea of circle of concern or circle of influence. The circle of concern can create anxiety, fear, anger and depression. The circle of influence can create peace, calm and positive action. Mary Grace, (what a great middle name) who walked me through the pre-surgery process this morning thanked me for being so positive, and mentioned I seemed to have a great attitude about all of this. She said “you are going to be ok.” She hadn’t seen me earlier in the day. She met with me after I had spent a few minutes in Portland!

Remember you are loved and of great value! Have a wonderful day….

Peace,

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Love vs. Fear