Special Friends

Hey My Friends!! Hope all of you are doing well. We are experiencing spring weather today and tomorrow and then some cool weather is coming back. Mid-December and its been very hard to imagine that based on the weather. Took a walk this afternoon and had a sweat.

A quick update and then a special person and story.

Had my two month appointment last week and everything is remaining positive. The cancer is still dormant and I am grateful for that. At the beginning of this I was not expecting to be here for Christmas this year. I am very, very grateful for that and grateful to enjoy my family for another Christmas.

The story I am sharing was from December of 1997 or 98. I don’t remember the exact date but it was very close to today. Ron Beasley was a friend in Edmond, Oklahoma. We did not run together very often. In reality Ron was probably a much better runner than I.

Ron was a Phd Psychologist. He had been the youth minister several years before me, at the same church I was then serving at. If you did not know this man, he was a very fascinating and very special man. Ron was married to Becky, they had two children, Erynn and Ryan. Ron passed away suddenly and unexpectedly 4 years ago last Saturday. Ron and Becky had a special marriage. His oldest daughter Erynn started watching our kids when she was in 7th grade and our children were very young. We were connected with this family in many special ways.

After our run that day we were walking and cooling down a little. We were discussing Christmas and that time of the year and I remember saying, “I wish Christmas would go away and not happen.” I had struggled with some parts of Christmas that were associated with my fathers death and some of the family stuff wrapped around that. Christmas wasn’t always a happy time for me growing up.

I will never forget how Ron responded to me that day. “Do you want your kids to experience the joy and celebration of Christmas?” We were at the end of our time together. He crossed the street and I turned around to get back to my house. I remember walking back to my house and reflecting on what Ron had said. His question started something for me that I never perfected but was aware of and tried to work on.

Ron helped me see and understand that my response and attitude about Christmas would impact my kids. I had begun to realize there were some things I wanted my children to see and expereince in a different way than their dad had experienced. He helped me understand how my attitude and actions around Christmas would impact my kids. I can’t say I ever was great at that but I did slowly begin to understand my role in that area of my kids life.

Ron was a special man in many ways and to many people. 4 years later this is still hard at times for his family. I think about Becky. The loss of her husband has been very challenging. I think about Erin and Ryan. The loss of their father has been very challenging.

I know for many of you there have been losses and challenges that make this time of year difficult. Whether it’s an empty seat at the dinner table this year, or the family dynamics look different than they have in the past due to a divorce, entrenched child or any other number of things.

For me, I could still be biter that I didn't have a father to celebrate Christmas with. But instead, I am choosing to focus on the gratitude that I get to be here at least one more Christmas morning with my beautiful wife, children and grandchildren. My encouragement for you this holiday season is not to ignore the hard stuff. It’s important that we call that out and give it the space it deserves. But we don’t have to stop there. We can still choose joy. After all, Christmas is about celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Tis the season!!