“YOU Are Loved”

Good Morning, hope your week is going well. Today is day three of my treatment. It has been interesting. When I go to the hospital and get the radiation, it is not that big of a deal. The biggest bummer is the drive into Dallas and back each day. The bummer is both days I have ended up with a headache. I meet with the Dr once a week and today is the day I meet with him so I am hoping we can discuss the headache. I was not expecting to have any significant results from the radiation for the first two or three weeks so having this affect from day 1 is a bummer. Pretty sure there is not an upside to having a brain tumor :)

This week has been a little challenging. I am up every day by 4:30 or 5am and this is consistently a wonderful time of my day. I am usually thinking about 50 different things. That’s not uncommon for me, but obviously the focus is a little different right now. I spent some time looking at this picture that my sister made for my 40th birthday. It has been a very very special gift. I have always felt like she nailed my reality with this art work.

It’s interesting to me and actually matters a bunch. Andrea and I see God and faith a little differently. That honestly does not matter much to me. My work in ministry and counseling over the years has greatly impacted how I see God and each of our relationship with him. I believe God is about relationship. So think about this. Is your relationship with everyone in your life the same? It’s not for me. Every relationship I have in my life is a little different, that includes my relationship with God, Natalie, my kids, family, clients, friends etc.

This picture that Andrea created is spot on to me. I guess like all art work you can look at art through a few different perspectives. I have looked at this picture in a couple of ways. One is my work has been the hand in the picture that takes peoples broken and wounded hearts and gives them to God who through the love of Christ provides some healing. This is a big idea and deal to me. I can’t heal anyone’s heart. What I can do is love them and listen to them in a way that helps and encourages them to open their heart to God’s love and grace. People experience comfort and life when this happens.

Another perspective is that my heart is wounded and broken. Over the years I have had people in many different ways help me experience the love and grace of Christ. This starts with me accepting the reality that my heart is broken, wounded and that is simply the reality of living in a broken world. This is not unique to me, it is the reality of each person who lives in this broken world. God’s love and grace has slowly changed me in a very positive way. Because I have received his love and grace, acknowledged I need his love and grace, it has then allowed me to share that with other people. I am grateful for this.

Now, having a brain tumor and realizing my days may very well be limited, presents some new challenges. It ultimately makes me realize the reality of my humanity. This life is temporary for each of us. I have known this. I have had the blessing to provide funerals for infants, teenagers and adults. Our physical life ends in some very interesting ways. I don’t want to live in fear of this, I want this reality to help me live well each day!! I have today and today matters.

It’s interesting. I have not been able to work, not able to provide the counseling that I have done for years. I miss that, mainly because of what it has always meant to me. I guess I also miss earning a living. Money is nice and a blessing but that is not consuming much of my thought right now. My thought is more about how do I continue to be the hand in the picture that helps peoples broken hearts experience the love and grace of God.

So,,, that’s a lot of words to simply remind and encourage you. If you are struggling, if your heart is aching because of the challenges and sometimes painfulness of life, can I remind you that you are loved? That your life matters and the challenges you face in no way mean you are not not loved by God. Your life matters, you matter! I hope today, in some simple way. you are reminded that you are loved, not alone, that even when this life throws some pain at you, it is temporary.

So… a deep breath, focus on what is true, look for some beauty and as you see it and experience it, share it with someone else. Make a little difference today, and it will make a difference in you!

Thanks Andrea for my beautiful picture…each day it makes a difference in my life. Love you!

Peace,