“Do Not Worry About Tomorrow”
Hello and I hope your week is going well. Gracie and I took a beautiful walk this morning and it was nice to be outside. I hope you have a little time for yourself.
I am heading to the Dr.s office in Dallas this afternoon. They are a wonderful group, except for the drive to Dallas. This is my second follow up to the surgery I had on March 31st. I continue to struggle with choosing to do this surgery. I realize it has happened. I can’t go back and redo, but this surgery has really continued to mess with my head. Maybe that is simply a direct result of surgeons cutting a chunk of your brain out.
The thing I have gotten stuck on is there is no guarantee that this surgery will give me more life. It may give me more time and that would be a gift. The challenge is, my brain is much different, at least to me. :)! I have really struggled the last six weeks.
There have been days I have sat in a chair for hours like a zombie. I feel like I have no ability to focus on anything. I have not been able to read, which is very odd for me. I have watched more television than ever, but I don’t really watch it, it’s just on. I feel very lost and question if I will ever be able to do any kind of work again, or do much of anything.
My head has slowly gotten better. Maybe I am making progress that will continue to improve. That is what the Dr.s tell me, so I have no reason to question that. This just continues to be a strange journey. I honestly don’t like writing about this kind of stuff. I am simply trying to be honest. I am experiencing some perspectives and trying to work through some things that are very different for me.
I am confident many of you can relate to some of what I am saying. I have worked with people my entire adult life. I have walked with and have seen many who were dealing with and battling through difficult life struggles. I personally have been through some challenges. I was always able to get a place that I was loved and cared for by God. I really do still believe that. I am not questioning that. I just don’t understand why this is playing itself out the way it is.
Let me finish with this thought!
Jesus was a fascinating and different kind of teacher. There is some teaching he is doing in the early chapters, specifically in Matthew 6. At the end of Matthew 6, vs 34 he says this.
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble on its own.”
This life can be very challenging. I am telling myself, this should not be a big surprise. Deal with today. I am working on that, and will trust that in some way God will be faithful.
Remember, “you are loved and of great value.”
Peace,